That sometimes. It's big deal. It happens to the of us.

That sounds hilarious. Immediately did a youtube search to see if there were any videos of a Nookie routine because I neeeeeed to know what it would look like (I hypothesize that it included some Fred Durst type strutting and at least one of those 'tough guy' poses with your arms crossed).

Unfortunately, I could only…

My beagle is definitely not obedient enough for a government job, but I will still be calling him Lieutenant Beagle now, because that's adorable.

i feel like u didnt get the sarcasm

i was once detained by lieutenant-in-training German Shepherd puppy at the airport. She wanted my chocolate that I had in the bag. Apparently I was the fourth person she had alerted to the police for OMG DRUGS who had chocolate in their bag XD

I would be legit sad to not see your comments on a post. Also, did I mention my Taylor Swift butt tattoo still hasn't entirely come off?

OH GOD I WOULDNT EVEN HAVE TO INTERACT W PEOPLE FACE TO FACE they could just email me and be like ::marketing idea:: and i could email them back just being like

me

actually i have a right to the attention of every dog

Chandler Bing, is that you?

If you quadrupled the number of chairs in the world, it would still not be enough for the amount of seats the BeyHive needs to take on a daily basis.

You know who has really great skin? Beck.

When I was 8, I went to a Southern Baptist church with my friend's family for a few months. My parents were NOT INTO IT, but I guess they didn't want to be the assholes who forbade their kid from going to church. Anyway, one morning I learned about the creation of Adam and Eve in Sunday school and the teacher…

Ladies I'll go on record when I say:

Recruiters ARE really aggressive. My mom is a high school librarian, and she has banned them from entering the library because she has a lot of low income, minority kids who hang out there during breaks and lunch. She sees their practices as predatory, especially with these kids, and told the principal that under no…

I honestly can't believe people on Jez are asking this. For serious? Kanye made a bulletproof vest for his daughter.

there should be a backwards dancer option for singles, just like at the roller-rink.