Ugh, you're either above slut-shaming or you're not, Amber. Honestly, find me one sexually active adult woman who hasn't had a male partner "nut on her," to use your charming colloquialism. We reach for the cum towel, we wipe it off, and we move on with our day, our worth unabated.

"Hey, inexperienced female spider!"

Kanye West is to fashion what Michael Jordan was to baseball.

People were frequently turned into newts. But they got better.

No no, I'm sure he's arguing for increased support for poor and single mothers so they can feel sure that they will be able to care for their children, thus significantly lowering the number of abortions.

I haven't had an abortion (whew! This guy will love me!), but I have walked into an ACTUAL Planned Parenthood, and I was neither put in a cage and set on fire nor beheaded. So I'd like to politely disagree with these statements he's making.

PP doesnt perform actual late term abortions to my knowledge. When I had mine at 26 weeks, I had to fly across the country because only 3 doctors actually perform them.

Someone should spay his stupid face.

Yeah, we don't do that. Doesn't bring in a lot of repeat customers.

So what he's arguing is that safe pharmaceutical and medical abortions should be made available to anyone who needs then as early as possible to reduce the occurrences of late term abortions, right?

"Women were created from men," says Zach.

I didn't want to do this, but he has forced me to bring out the big guns. (deep breath)

Ladies I'll go on record when I say:

Shaddup, Lolo. You're a virgin who can't drive (a bobsled).

Well, would it kill you to notice?

Men who feel the need to tell you that they're feminists are the same guys who want credit for not committing sexual assault.

Oh, I can participate in this one..

These people have absolutely no humanity. I don't even think he truly believes this shit, I think he sees this as an easy way to toss shit at a liberal.

Once, in a fit of drunken derring-do, at the height of Riverdance mania, I convinced an entire bar in France that I was an accomplished Irish step dancer. I've never taken a lesson in my life.

My partner and I told everyone that our child was an accident when in actuality, he was totally planned. For some reason, we knew that would sit better with everyone, from our super liberal anti-breeder friends, to his conservative parents who hate me and would fall over dead if they ever knew that we, being young and…