My breath caught for a second there this afternoon.

Think I might have to set my alarm a little earlier than usual tomorrow. Y’know, just for the hell of it.

I see what you did there.

I do not approve.

“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but that he stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”

It’s easy to cheer for flag and country. It’s…

$130K? What constitutes a mid-level bureaucrat to you?

I’m a super casual baseball fan, so I was fucking shocked when I looked at the rule book and saw that this wouldn’t be fan interference. How the fuck did that not get written into the rules? Or is it covered by another rule that I’m not finding?

And bitter as hell about it, yes.

Well, this is sure to fan the flames of my undying hatred of Finland.

There is almost zero chance that one would choose to make that specific statement in this context without knowing how fucking stupid it was.

Shockingly, this is not unique. There’s a restaurant in the United Center with a view of the hallway that (I think) links the basketball and hockey dressing room hallways. There’s a glass wall, though, so not entirely the same.

What Has Always Sucked:

I would say, “Well, her first question about every foreign policy situation wasn’t ‘why don’t we nuke them?’ so she seemed comparably okay."

Dammit. I was just hoping that all of Deadspin suddenly loved me. Way to ruin my fun.

Listen, it was either this guy or his proctologist, and when that guy picks up Trump’s language and interprets it to his own...

This explains why I saw Peter Thiel hanging out with the lead singer from Smash Mouth recently. Coincidentally, this is the first time since Shrek came out that anybody wanted to hang out with the lead singer from Smash Mouth, so it’s a double win for that dude.

Vince McMahon would never allow it. Think of what would happen to SummerSlam every four years!

Apparently Barry and I share that memory, but I’m guessing he feels much better about it than I do.

I’ve been playing these games my entire life. Almost 33 years. I was gifted the Legend of Zelda three times by various family members in 1987 because I couldn’t stop talking about it and they didn’t realize I was talking about it because my cousin already lent me her copy. I grew up in an extremely Roman Catholic…

As a Sabres fan, I was not conflicted, and now hate you very much.

DON’T. THROW. STUFF. ON. THE. PLAYING. SURFACE.

This is a good and correct opinion.

The dog in the Habs sweater is now Montreal’s starting goalie. True facts.