Spinal Tap would like a word.

No, as of yesterday, there was no “might return.”

Remind me again why anybody ever wants to be a cheerleader for an NFL team?

peaking: reaching a highest point, either of a specified value or at a specified time.

Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me — in 2015 — that Maxim is still being published? For real?

I got an invite a few weeks ago and am looking forward to trying it out. The four-week wait for my sim card is dampening my enthusiasm some, though.

Actually, they didn’t even need to execute the punt. All they needed to do was not hand the ball to Michigan State.

I generally agree, but I think we could’ve done with a summary of event here, rather than the entire annotated police report. I mean, this is a bit of a slog.

One of the worst at-bats I’ve ever seen, made even more egregious by the situation. Did he have a plane to catch or something?

Elsewhere, Brian McCann wakes from a nap screaming, his body drenched in sweat. He opens his laptop and without understanding why, buys a ticket on the next available flight to Chicago...

...OR SO NASA WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE.

Still $19 when I checked just now...

Still $19 when I checked just now...

Why is it okay for Bielema to be on the field, in the face of an opposing player?

No.

Somewhere, Kirk Gibson grunts in approval.

I’d love to know what the fuck exactly the ump saw on that play.

The Pirates lost 21 games to the Brewers and Reds. That’s basically what put them in this position.

Who had October 7 as the date by which Deadspin blamed Roger Goodell for the DFS scandal? Come on up and claim your winnings!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Matt Barnes a living pile of human waste product?

“So why not make it subject to replay review?”