No, mahn.

Sanka, ya dead?

"Uh oh!"

-Carl Lewis

"Fuckin' beautiful."

Teammate: Hey Jesus, what's gonna be your walk-up music this year?

good question. nina agdal and a dolphin (the dolphins)

How far can you punt a football?

Would you be interested in going out for the Olympic Bobsled team? If so, would you want to be the driver or the pusher?

on a callista flockhart to rosie o-donnell scale, this is basically a fat oprah.

There are two kinds of practical jokes out there

Of greater concern is how quickly Darren Sharper showed up at the scene once he found out she was unconscious.

He was released on his own recognizance due to the fact that he's no longer a threat to run.

Hi, layperson here. NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT A SILVER PLATTER IS.

Yes, that's the reasonable alternative to simply avoiding sports websites that might have an interest in discussing sporting events in real time.

"If that's what she does to his face, imagine what she'd do to his kibble and bits," Jay Leno said to his empty, pitch black living room at 4:44 a.m.

Even though I've heard that their saliva is cleaner than a human's, I still don't think I'd kiss a Greek person.

She must have been found being gay. Luckily, the jails in Sochi aren't done yet either.

Rest in poop, Andy.

DEFCON

Why would antifreeze hurt a dog anyways? It's not like they are made of ice.