Flushing tampons down the toilet is the real horror here. NOT SO SEXY WHEN YOU HAVE POOP WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A PLUMBER ON THE PHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CHRISTIAN, EH?

Hmm yes, the Uncle Terry Lite school of art. Deep. Really thought provoking. Her facial expression says, "Lets all go do shots!" but her train lingerie says, "I already did shots!" I like the juxtaposition of the model with all the haterz trying to commute. Probably to their stupid ass day jobs that are not edgy at…

as a sometime hamlet scholar, can I just say: DYING. You almost made me choke on my wine.

There actually ARE Unicorn-American taxi drivers in this city, you know!

No, asking if a single simple substitution's possible really isn't that big an imposition. It's when you combine that with another simple substitution, a request to be seated somewhere special, and half a dozen other needy, passive-aggressive demands couched as "polite" requests that restaurant personnel start…

I'm still hung up on "have a date with my son."

Just brought me back to this page. It's a never ending loop!

Here's the problem: "I would like to substitute in rice for the fries, please" is very, VERY different from "I order off-menu." They have starkly different connotations. If your "ordering off-menu" consists of asking to swap a side, even if it's a side that isn't technically listed (but that the place has), that's…

I find the letter P offensive and respectfully demand you remove all instances of it from this post.

My job as a server, bartender, is to make as much money as I can per customer. Not per table, per every butt in the seats. I'm pushing the salmon left and right. Whatever small monetary compensation you could offer to eat at a table in my restaurant pales in comparison with what I could make from a person who ordered…

I had a tow truck driver return my wallet. He found it on the side of lakeshore drive in Chicago when towing someone. It was February and there was snow and slush everywhere. It had apparently fallen out during one of the 3 times I made the cab pull over so I could barf. This saintly man found the wallet, 411'd the…

i had a cabbie in NYC bring me back my phone. i think he did it because i was a 15 year old girl with another 15 year old girl and a mom, and we were clearly not from nyc. but it was super kind of him and very sweet.

You don't get to go to the theater and hand people your own script.

Distraction for her partner the pickpocket who was working the company-lunch table.

Two thoughts:

I went to Miss Porter's School for girls (aka Jackie Kennedy's high school). My newsfeed was clogged with my classmates' disapproval of the Lilly/Target collaboration...when I tried to call them out on how they were just upset poor people would be wearing Lilly they pretty much all talked down to me by trying to…

The latest Target partnerships haven't been very good. I think the last good one was the Liberty of London one (of which I bought EVERYTHING). They're all so cheaply made now and even if they aren't very exciting they sell out within minutes online so they can be resold at a 100% markup on eBay. They're not FUN…

Last winter or so, Mr. Bells and I were heading home from a road trip when we stopped into a random Mexican place for lunch. We were seated in the second booth back from the entrance. The first booth, that we walked past on our way in, had a mother and her young son in it. Next to us was a table of maybe 10 people…

My husband and I were at a restaurant with a large menu when a normal 30 something couple comes in. They both sit on the same side of the booth and the woman starts reading the menu to her male companion. She reads the title, description then price for all of the appetizers. I assumed he was blind, couldn't read,…

As a sufferer of Mitchum-Humpsterfumper disease, I resent being alluded to as a fungible yeti. We are each special yeti-snowflakes with special imaginary yeti-afflictions.