I love how completely he seduces her in under a minute. Like, "Mike, buddy, I could fuck your girlfriend if I wanted to. I could fuck all the girlfriends."

Omg this is too much! Most straight sex scenes don't add to the plot...and in the case of HTGAWM ( and perhaps Scandal, but I don't watch it) the sex scenes did add to the plot, because they are the way one character gets information, and therefore FORWARDS THE PLOT. Good lord, people are duuuuuuummmmmmmmb.

Am I the only one who was sort of hoping the title was sarcastic and these would really be the worst customer stories ever, the ones that Colin is saving for that special BCO day?

I think Myrna was referring specifically to wait times in the ER - crying Ebola just to be seen faster in the ER was pointless and a waste of time (not even considering that its messed up) JUST to be treated faster when it was likely that she would have been seen first anyway.

TRAPPED IN A GLASS CAGE OF EMOTION.

My best friend claims that she has never peed in the shower. I cant even understand how one can help it.

Very Snow. Such chicken. Many Kelly. So violence. Wow.

I'm going to compare other celebrities to grains:

Let me see if I understand this. This writer is ostensibly trying to present her positively, yet describes her as "earnest as quinoa?" I get that the writer is probably trying to be clever, but "earnest as quinoa?" Earnest as quinoa. That phrase is going to rattle around in my brain for at least the next for…

I believe the pro-North Korea contingent is called Dennis Rodman.

Anyone who doesn't answer "mandolin slicer" is a damn fool. What's that? Need me to julienne boat loads of veggies or slice 5 lbs of potatoes for au gratin that's going to take 15 minutes with a knife? Ok, I got this shit in 30 seconds...

Because to Faux News, this never happened.

It's even funnier that (as Jon Stewart pointed out on TDS) in the same damn show, he got all faux outraged at OBUMMER for the latte salute because it was 'disrespectful' to our men and women in uniform.

Those guards knew exactly what was going on and what was going to happen.

I've had intelligent, educated family members tell me with complete seriousness that they thought international online pharmacies were legal. "If they weren't legal, why would I be able to buy stuff?"

Nobody puts Baby on the floor.

But! Does he sell monogrammed coffee thermoses?

I believe all three of these ladies need to write a short introduction about themselves using only gifs. Or a la the Emoji Tatler.

Apparently the people who rented our apartment before we did used to clip their nails over the bathroom sink.

I know, because when it stopped up we snaked it and thousands of nasty, half-rotted toenails spewed forth.

I still can't put my face near the sink.