This, so hard. Aside from unfortunate exceptions when an animal turns out to be some sort of really unexpected surprise that you truly can't handle*, fucking be prepared because you decided to be responsible for another life, and tossing it back isn't cool

I was having this problem until my friend's girl adopted a cat she couldn't keep and asked if I wanted her. She's completed my trio of asshole cats perfectly. Up until then, I kept looking at adoption applications online and yelling things like "you don't need to know all of my goddamn business!" The vet reference…

THIS IS THE CUTEST OF ALL CREATURES.

I thought they broke up and thus had to be sold separately? Or did that really insanely bizarre marketing campaign fail already, because trying to say a candy was gay was just... confusing?

Yeah I'm stumped. Trolling or insane to an epic degree? Or both? Also, those pictures are goddamn horrifying. The women are beautiful; their fake asses are not.

I read a really long article about this a few months ago; can't remember where. The woman featured has CEMENT injected into her ass, which turned into gaping wounds that she didn't have the money/healthcare to fix for years. I think a surgeon wound up doing it pro bono eventually because her ass was literally…

Thank you : ) Right now I have mostly 0% outlook because my health insurance was accidentally cancelled. THANKS OBAMA*

I was out of state so I had to wait two days and endure a five hour drive before I could get it cauterized! It was definitely a fine medical moment for me. Now I have cervical cancer (not from his huge peen, obv) and I'm sort of happy they're going to have to remove my entire cervix, because at least now sex might…

My husband has a pretty giant penis (a Billy-Tom before, if you will). He ruptured my cervix a while ago and now basically I'm afraid to have sex with him. I have to be the most turned on ever for him to not kill me with it. So this guy... nope.

Nope, still wish it wasn't there. He's a cutie, but the mullet gives me the sads.

The polenta story reminds me of my uncle. He got a roast beef when we were out for a family dinner once, and it came with au jus. He didn't know what the "sauce" was and when the waitress explained, he replied (shocked) "Did you just call me a Jew?" I laughed so hard I had to leave the table, as he was wholly…

She'd only been living with the aunt for a couple months, and after age 18, your family doesn't HAVE to let you live with them. While I wouldn't be surprised if she's mentally ill, I doubt this was something the aunt had coming to her...

Nope. Looks like men with their child brides.

We seem to have read different articles, but cool.

She was on the cover of Shape this month. I am SO MAD that about that shit being in my mailbox.

Can we talk about how fucking mad I am that she's on the cover of Shape this month? I have a subscription and I wish there was a skip feature. Oh, the irony of Jenny McCarthy in a purported "health" publication.

Ooooh thanks for the link! Due to their early stage of brain development, young offenders generally respond well to rehab efforts, particularly when there's not a sexual aspect to their crime. I'm finishing a degree in Crim Profiling right now and while I don't want to work with youth, I have enjoyed learning about…

You... do not understand this discussion. Also, rape adds a far different component, and 17 is you know, a lot closer to 18. I'm not attempting to draw the line myself, but 12 is a far cry from 18. Also, the motivations in a rape and attempted murder are MUCH different than an attempted murder by two children who…

Not sure if sarcasm or...

It happens a lot. I'm finishing up a degree in Criminal Profiling (because I'm really cool in my mind) and I seriously cannot understand it. Why designate who's a child and who's an adult and control at what age those people can have consensual sex, join the military, see R rated movies, etc. and acknowledge that…