Vinyl wrap! If the buyer doesn’t want Camo, they can peel it off for under $20! It’s win-win!

Of course, I joke about the Mini's power, but here's the truth of the matter: when the Mark I Mini came out in 1959, it used an 848 cc four-cylinder engine that made just 34 horsepower. Fortunately, the car's engineers quickly realized just how absurdly small this figure was, and by 1984 they had devised a major…

I tweeted at you from @CKFairbanks, but my suggestion is better explain in more than 140 characters.

Indeed. I was lying in wait like a young spaniel, hungry for delicious, delicious socks.

Undoubtedly — undoubtedly — you had this answer typed up before.

Doug, the answer is obvious: The Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet. Preferably in seafoam green, tan top, tan interior.

It's all fine and dandy to ignore the Check Engine light... until this happens.

HDC Fault! Limited Gears Available! When I owned an LR3, I learned to just read that as "It rained last night! Congratulations, your vehicle is mostly running anyway!" The disconcerting bit is when the air suspension panics a few minutes later and drops you into "Loading grandma" mode while you're trying to merge.

They could make things more efficient by skipping a step:

Hey, that's not fair. I bought my VW new and the check engine light never came on. The tire pressure one did 30 seconds after leaving the dealership, but that's not a big deal.

Actually come to think of it maybe my check engine light doesn't work...

I called 2 dealers and they BOTH opened with that. Guy should've just asked me if I was an idiot.

"My check engine light is on."
"Oh, sir, quick question. Are you an idiot?"
"Nope! Not the gas cap."
"OK, when would you like to bring it in?"

To help explain why I think the check engine light is so stupid, allow me to relate what happened when I called up the Land Rover dealer to schedule an appointment. Before doing anything else, the service advisor immediately asked one question: "Did you check your gas cap?"

Check engine...did lighting strike engine? No? Carry on.

Yes, agreed. ALTHOUGH in my case I would rather have the dealer read and clear the fault because I can bill CarMax for it.

I went to the tour a couple weeks back in DC! Got hit with a photo radar ticket for speeding in a construction zone on my way home... at 2 a.m. Thanks Obama.

"NEXT TRACK: RAILROAD." And then it switches to railroad mode, and grows train wheels.

Is it weird that when I read "next track button" I thought it must have been some fancy mode for the 4WD system?

Then I thought about it more and promptly facepalmed.

What do you need a next track button for? All of the Jimmy Eat World songs are good

You ruined it for all of us, Doug. You and your dumb antics.

if you were to listen to every one of these complaints, you would never own anything more complicated than a tree.