Shhhh.... don't tell him that. Let him live the dream of inventing dimming side mirrors.

I gotta say, the whole "missing utensils" thing is also applicable to single ladies, because I currently have 2 large forks, 1 small fork, 1 small spoon, all 4 large spoons, and all the knives.

I honestly really wish I hadn't read this. It's going to make watching him in Game of Thrones so much more difficult. :(

BUT DO THEY WATCH ANY OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES SPECIFICALLY BEVERLY HILLS AND WHAT DO THEY THINK OF LISA'S FIGHT WITH... WELL EVERYONE?!?!

I think you should watch it, because maybe me never having been exposed to his comedy before watching the documentary gave me a different view of him, but you having seen his comedy maybe will understand it and his personality a little bit more?

Goddamnit Ashley Judd. Stop it. Just stop it.

I hate to say this, but I didn't really like that documentary about his first big standup one man show. I think it might have had to do with him just generally being annoyed that people in the South African comedy scene weren't accepting of him, but I could see the other comics' points...

Oh my good giddy aunt, look at that beautiful little girl. What an absolutely gorgeous child!

Man, I feel like a total noob every time I go to the gym and do lift weights (right now I'm doing a body weight circuit that seems to be working really nice for me, but I still have to do arm extenders and dumbbell rows, and I'm sure everyone in there is like "look at this noob!"

How is a kid deciding that he wants to avoid having very serious brain issues later on in life, perhaps subtly sending a message to both the larger population of parents/kids who play football, and the associations governing football in this country to change their minds about protecting kids with concussions, not a…

I would recommend doing some research on the lack of knowledge and information provided to NFL players about concussion before saying such things. Your lack of knowledge on the subject painfully obvious, and you're trying to dig yourself out of the hole. That's fine, keep doing you boo.

If you read the article on ESPN, it looks like Michigan is actually the entity that reported it out, and then I'm sure the media reached out to Jack to get a comment, and that's when it came up that he no longer wanted to play.

This is funny in 2 ways! :D

I was waiting for this post. Because I knew, of any of the Deadspin writers who would actually write about Zark leaving, it would be Drew.

Oh my god, yes. More than anything else in this world, yes.

Well it certainly wasn't Team Cat...

That is glorious. If he did have congestive heart failure, he died a hero and a scholar.

How can that be boring? It's makeup porn!

I would like exact details of everything you purchased, down to size and color please. I would like to live vicariously through you please kthx.

OH MY GOD I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.