My fourth grade teacher used to make me stay in her room at lunch to rewrite my work on that little kid paper with the dotted lines, convinced she could improve my handwriting. My mom eventually told her “look, the kid has sloppy writing but she’s obviously plenty smart, you’re just going to make her hate you and…

I have an enormous permanent indentation on my right third finger from writing.

When I started kindergarten in 1989 my teacher expressed concern over my lack of fine motor skills because I held my pencil “wrong”. My mother was the queen of arts and crafts so I grew up doing things with my hands constantly. I spent hours using up all my grandma’s aluminum foil making little figures of people and…

This is super important for me because I have terrible knees and I have to be sure they’re always aligned exactly right or I’m back in physical therapy.

I have a pair of skinny jeans that I noticed year only stay up thanks to my hefty thighs. The waist band had slouched down to my hips and I pulled them off without unbuttoning. I’m now searching for pants that actually fit.

Around the time LEDs were really taking off, I was picking up some extra cash driving an elderly woman to appointments and taking her shopping once a week. One day she had “REGULAR Lightbulbs” written on her shopping list, and it took nearly five minutes of her rambling about new technology conspiracies to…

My daughter is 17, very pretty, and hears about it constantly. Lately, she’s started responding to “you’re so pretty!” with “More interestingly, I’m graduating 4th in my class with a full academic scholarship to my first choice university; wanna talk about that?”

I’m 34 with a kid in high school, and I guarantee that if I ever called one of her friends a hot little piece of ass, regardless of their age, she would move out. Because that’s gross and creepy af.

Nah, not too dramatic. They may be small, simple creatures, but they’re still living beings capable of fear and pain. I feel terrible for the little guy.

Right!? Exactly my first thought. Walk around saying “Free hamster! Can’t take it with me, free to the first taker!” and I bet you’d be hamster-free in about five minutes.

Turns out he was a total dirtbag himself, so in retrospect I’m not surprised.

I tried to explain this to a (now former) friend about his friend who I had to ghost. I’d exchanged numbers with the guy, and within a day he was calling every few hours, texting non-stop, calling me his boo, begging to come over. When I told him he needed to back off if we were going to keep talking, he just doubled…

This all day. They say “well, people with medical necessity get a pass”, but you don’t freaking know if the person you’re looking at has a “medical necessity”, do you? I have chronic intractable migraine with severe light sensitivity; lighting that seems dim to most people can be excruciating to me, and this can go on…

A friend of mine had about half her teeth replaced with implants after a lifetime of poverty and abuse destroyed her mouth. It was an unpleasant process, but it took well less than a year. Years of dental work for ONE tooth? Hard to swallow.

Al can come play in my workshop anytime.

After I was raped at 14, my mom also assured me that I was still “really a virgin” since I hadn’t chosen to have sex. I didn’t say anything at the time, but it pissed me off. I didn’t give a fuck about being a virgin or not, I’d never cared at all about it, I cared that this piece of shit had raped me. I knew his…

That is so gross and I’m sorry for your friend. I started getting tattooed at 18 as well, and luckily the worst I’ve encountered has been some mild condescending. I have a large thigh piece (hip to knee) in progress right now, and I couldn’t do it if I wasn’t completely comfortable with my artist. It’s such a…

Holy shit. I have a piece slightly larger than that on my shoulder, and it took a little over an hour. I thought that was long for such a simple design. That sucks.

Yes. I accidentally touched a co-worker’s butt (through his clothes) while we were working in tight quarters. He said “Woah now”, I said “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, that was a complete accident”, we laughed kinda awkwardly, and then it was over. I was technically his superior, so I felt it especially important that I 1)…

I am very interested in this sweater.