What a waste of money. 30 grand could have put a couple of those sex dolls through college.

You know what, though? Pepperoni Butt has way better social skills than most people on OK Cupid.

Hold on a second while I scream internally.

Adam Levine is am anagram of "valid enema".

Adam Levine is a health code violation.

seventeen is for tweens

Nah, the most offensive part is how desperate they are for publicity. "Guys, guys? We are making a crossover between two shows that everyone watches once in a while but no one really follows or pays attention to! Are you excited? Well, what if we told you one of the jokes in the crossover beforehand? What if that joke…

Hey, remember that time when Family Guy didn't exist and Seth McFarlane wasn't being paid to make jokes on the Oscars about sexual assault?

The more my work is focused solely online, the more obsessed I am with thinking about how that process impacts me, mentally/physically/emotionally. I love this medium, I really, really do. But I think being aware that it can change the way you react to or absorb information or entertainment is also really vital. I…

I think I'm one of those people...?

Seventh Heaven had the Walker Texas Ranger effect for me- it was just so fun to make fun of it, that I ended up watching regularly.

In short, I favor men but am still attracted to women. It's that simple. You don't get to judge my authenticity.

It's like you're in my head. I am probably 70/30 male/female attracted, and as such, I stand behind the veil of hetero privilege and support those who identify as bisexual. Everyone assumes I'm just "kinky" and I tend to let them because the alternative is so fraught with baggage I don't want to take on for 30%.

This man claims the right to kill American citizens, and has done so. Not mention several thousand Pakistanis. But you're right, this is offensive.

i will not let murdering tweens take slenderman away from me.

So where do they store all these diamonds? In some kind of Gringott's goblin vault? Asking for a felonious friend....

Not a Republican, but can I just say that an obstructionist Congress would have been just terrific circa 2001-2003, back when they were whimpering and acquiescing to the PATRIOT Act and the various ill-advised wars?

Politics is a double-edged sword.

Have you seen Inside Llewyn Davis?

This is totally my dream. I'm an actor and one of my actor friends got cast in a History Channel show and was all "meh, I don't know if I want to do it I don't look like Tesla at all" and I almost killed him out of envy.

I once heard that the reason some celebrities riders are so outlandish is because they want to make sure that whomever they are working with has actually read them. There's the story about how Van Halen's rider always demanded that there be a bowl of M&Ms backstage and there were to be no brown M&Ms in it.