Right? Normally when I found out a potential love interest in Ayn Rand... I run away. -_-

We had some dinner guests on Monday and I was about to drop a Simpsons reference on them when I realized that the episode I was about to reference came out before either of our guests was born.

Haha I forgot he was in that movie until i rewatched it last year. To be fair, i feel he and Ann’s other friends could have been a bit more supportive of her. Especially the friend who got a whole bag of clinique samples from Ann!

Elon Musk, the eccentric, car-loving billionaire whose childhood was famously chronicled in the 2001 Steven Spielberg film A.I

I can’t believe 2016 is a real year that we’re all living through.

Thank god I’m a librarian. The day they enforce a ban on Easy Spirit shoes and threadbare cardigans is the day I turn in my retirement papers.

Hot take: I side-eye anyone who dates siblings, and anyone who dates someone their sibling already dated.

WHAT DID I JUST READ?! Did the fact that the bride KILLED A CHILD make it into a story about her wedding as an aside?!

Oh, I am sure he will take care of that for her since she will be “nauseous” again if she has to spend the money on it.

fun fact:

Your house sounds like it was fun.

That’s why you’re not a winner. You think a little (okay, a lot) or poop is going to stop a Winner? This guy is one of the fastest walkers in the world and, dagnabbit, he’s going to get that Gold Medal. If anybody doesn’t like it they can lick the back of his thighs!

I hope if I’m ever in an important walking competition where I poop my pants, I have the appropriate perspective to say to myself, “You know what, this is just a WALKING COMPETITION, fuck it”

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

Fortunately no one tried to shove the baby back up inside her until the plane landed.

This is so utterly ridiculous. Yet again women are being forced to shoulder the blame for a culture’s fear and ignorance.

I thought they were tacquitos at first. Mmm tacquitos

I wanna love them. I really do! ...but I can’t understand a bleeping word they’re saying.

Because apparently they result to victim blaming when the cops can’t find any evidence. Can’t imagine why the cops and judge would not want the bad press of an Olympian being robbed at gunpoint. I’m sure they tried really hard to find evidence.

“Really strange and different”. What descriptive writing! I’m so glad she’s sharing her talents with the world and gifting us with a memoir.