Next visit to the coach-shoe-putter-onner’s house, wear a skirt and no underwear and skoot your ass across their carpets like a dog with worms. Sweet revenge!

“Man, I wish I could get away with wearing flats.”

I wear flats all of the time always because fuck that bad for my feet high heeled, nonsense shaped bullshit. And I’ve literally had women say to me “Man, I wish I could get away with wearing flats.” You can. It’s called just wear flats.

It me. A doctor once lectured me about how heels obviously messed up my feet, and I was like “Nah. I wear heels for weddings and funerals. That’s just shit genes.”

Yeah, I’m fine with shoes generally but let us unite against the true enemy here, pants. The best is towards the end of the summer, I’ll sometimes stop and try and think of the last time I wore a garment with a fly and can’t remember.

Shoes are terrible.

Watch his performance of “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle. If you’re not in love with him after that, something is definitely wrong with you.

“Chances are, there’s one in a park near you.”

A friend of my dad’s recently told him a story. Guy is a life-long gun owner, considers himself well trained in safety, etc. He was recently putting away a handgun away in a closet. He’d taken out the magazine, and didn’t realize that there was a bullet in the chamber. He went to “dry fire” it, and the bullet went…

The numbers are probably inflated, and she’ll be playing to packed houses around the country for months if not years because of coachella exposure

I am surprised that Cardi B wasn’t able to wrangle a bigger paycheck from Goldenvoice once they moved her to a more prominent booking. I’d fire a manager for that.

You couldn’t pay me enough to hang out with most of these douchebags.

They don’t see it because they don’t want to.

Books! This is my second book post. What are you currently reading? I’ve read 3 Carrie Fisher books this year. I was feeling addicted, but decided to start Lauren Graham’s memoir, which was a gift earlier this year. Next up: Kim Gordon and Patti Smith’s memoirs.

Season one Schmidt is the worst, his character has grown more than anyone else on the show though.

The show really became very good after the first season. Once they started exploring the amazingness that is Winston.

I want more people to be comfortable with their mental health issues. There is such an importance placed on physical health that no one over speaks about mental health before its too late. I’m glad for her. Its all about accepting it and getting the help needed. I can’t wait for new music.

Awwww yesssssss I love seeing people take charge of and begin to proactively manage their health issues! Fuck yeah, Mariah!

I wouldn’t compare being a lousy boyfriend due to psychological trauma to being a molester or rapist.