I didn’t even know the Netflix thing was a joke. I just thought it was a comedy special or something (granted, I did not watch the video or read the info).

Bees, people, the bees are important. You will be ok in a outhouse.

Indoor plumbing.

Unlimited time off and no more student loan debt is my Sophie’s choice right now.

I cast the vote to make it 69-69!

I heard a...Radiolab?...where they talked to doctors and most of the doctors said they don’t want CPR performed on them because it has such a low chance of success. Yeah, it was this one: http://www.radiolab.org/story/262588-bitter-end/

I know it’s not wildly unusual, and was once standard, but just the idea of a 33 year old with an near-adult child freaks me out, never mind the rest of this horror show.

I would completely fill my bag with tampons in protest.

My only trip-up was Pro Hairstylists vs 70 Degree Days. I got some difficult hair.

I hope they whole-ass it.

How can it bring back the “Best part of ‘Parks and Rec’” if there’s no Ben Wyatt???

He would even call it Menta-Li-Ill if Kim suggested.

Is Joanna Explains my new favorite column? I think it is!

Here’s a subtitled version:

Dear Joanna,

“Disick” is what you get when you combine “dick” with “sick”.

Friday night I saw a Camaro parked in front of the UFC Gym that’s next to my Costco. It had the license plate “THE LGD”: i.e., “The Legend.” I said to myself, “Hmm, when did Scott Disick move to the Inland Empire?”

It was the haircut, Katy.