Caramel flan! I get a burrito, eat 1/2 for dinner then the rest the nest day.

I thought the margaritas were the “dessert menu.”

Call me whatever you want, there is literally no such thing as a sensitivity to “non organic” food.

I love it.

He’s the same kind of guy that complains about how his daughter is growing up to be a real bitch just like her mom. 

I’m really hoping for LeVar Burton.

Buddy of mine used to eat grilled chicken breasts, brown rice and salad/steamed veggies every day, forever. He seemed perfectly happy with it, but I’m pretty sure I’d rapidly lose the will to live.

Did the change the name to MTN because there are no actual mountains in the beverage?

When it comes to pizza toppings, I’m always looking beyond pepperoni.

They were “highly populated”? Does this mean that they had a lot of fleas?

“We’re sorry it never was juice.”

Hooray!  More one time use packaging for something -that shouldn’t need it-

My dad didn’t kick a bunch of Limey asses in the Civil War just to have them tell us how to make tea, dagnabbit. You add equal parts sugar and water, drop in the tea bag, and put it out in the sun for a couple days. Then you drink up and puke it out an hour later just as God intended.

100.4 was as high as my temp got during my two weeks (four weeks total with recovery)... The body, eye and headaches were the worst. Thanks to Kinja Deals I bought one of the HUGE ice packs (torso-sized). That thing was a wonder.

If 1 in 4 cars are old enough to drive themselves then why aren’t there more autonomous cars?

Mayo never died, they just added a bit more flavor and started calling it aioli.  Extra spices won’t fool me though, it still tastes like disgusting mayo.

We’re a nation of five-year olds. We deserve Covid. 

I don’t see the problem.  Raspberry and strawberry are better anyway. 

Good idea for homeowners but annoying/expensive for us renters!

I usually loop my headphone wire through the key and then plug it into my phone. But I’m a luddite who refuses to use bluetooth headphones.