Here’s a subtitled version:

Dear Joanna,

“Disick” is what you get when you combine “dick” with “sick”.

Friday night I saw a Camaro parked in front of the UFC Gym that’s next to my Costco. It had the license plate “THE LGD”: i.e., “The Legend.” I said to myself, “Hmm, when did Scott Disick move to the Inland Empire?”

That’s always been my argument for a lot of these things.

Getting a cup of tea requires a really long explanation of what tea is and the entire history of tea.

Tea! All I want is a cup of tea!

Douglas Adams knew this would happen.

I read the whole article. The only thing that kept playing on endless loop in the background of my brain was the endless packets of constant communications all the devices were sending ‘home’. Not good. At all.

It was the haircut, Katy.

1.) Is it bad that I was hoping that Dad was going to get some good licks in on Larry before anyone could intervene?

Marilyn had breasts that looked like pears? How is that a bad thing? Only a complete asshat could find a flaw in one of the most beautiful women that ever lived.

At least Hardy can always change it to “Ms.Cleo knows all”

“I feel like you’ve been professional,” Alexis said, wrapping it up. “But you do use some words loosely, at least off-camera, but maybe that was too generous me even allowing that. So we just make this a very safe, respectful space moving forward, right?”

Less GOOP and less GOP in 2018.

I’d never ever want to go back to these days but...

lolz i clicked on this article like SHIT SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO PURITY RING???? thank god it’s just those lame rings, not the cool band.

Because we don’t value facts/data/education and we overvalue religious institutions (especially now when fewer and fewer people go to weekly worship). Gender equity is not just fair, it is smart, because it benefits society overall. And organized religion as a sector doesn’t do very well on gender equality. Well, I…

From a meta-level U.S.-centric perspective, this is story demonstrates to me one more time how fucking backward the U.S. is on gender.