I have 4.5 years to change....but I'm a procrastinator so really I have 3 months.

I actually have to address this because Allen read the post and was very upset that I didn't get the "gestalt" of the bucket o' cats.

Hey, we know what is fucking important. Cat videos.

Have you seen Mockingjay yet? I was skeptical too, but I saw it last night, and now I get it. They would have had to leave out so much to keep it within an acceptable running time. They fleshed out some sequences that were referred to, but not shown, in the book, and they did a really good job with it. The two most…

I'm wearing all my clothes at once right now. Coldsexual. Polarsexual?

Indeed. He was the redhead with the pockets lined with pills.

Same things my friends and I have said. It doesn't take itself so seriously.

I saw them on the sidewalk and talked to Ilana briefly, so we're basically BFFs. I can't wait for the season to start!

I feel strangely uncomfortable right now because I just read something really great and worthwhile on the internet. Thank you, Alan.

2 days before Valentine's day, we're sitting at our local bar and somehow get onto a conversation that basically goes like this "you make me miserable." "omg! you make me miserable too!" "want to go to Red Lobster? I have a gift certificate." "YES." Then we went to Red Lobster for our 'breakup dinner' and ordered the…

Yes!

That's your winner? Pffft...

WHAT?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............! I was really looking forward to your review of the new caramel apple oreos! :(

"Someday my prince will cum."

Not food related, but my favorite of my own dumb criminal experiences was when I worked at Best Buy many moons ago. I worked in the Home Theater department and the register for that department was in what we nicknamed the "dark alley" of the store — it was set all the way in the back corner and surrounded by large TV…

This is actually my dad's story but it's a family favorite that always gets trotted out at holidays and parties.

Where's Mac/Tina Majorino? They need her. I may be too invested in this already.

On a totally unrelated topic, Barack is how you spell peach in Hungarian and my family still living there can't get over how cute it is.

I'm killing myself if shorteralls come back.