Thank you SO MUCH for this summary! I really wanted to know how the speech went but can’t handle that level of bullshit/second hand embarrassment. Now I know!

Ugh, how can this be a thing?! Gross. You can have all my nopes.

“Plan Parenthood” lol. I hope this guy gets all the politically incorrect speech his heart desires.

Fuck yeah, Puffy Tacooooos!!!

I’m Mexican. I’ve never eaten, nor would I ever eat, Chipotle. I HAVE eaten Taco Bell, and am not ashamed. Sometimes some Nachos BellGrande just hit the spot, especially during a period salt craving...

I live in Laredo, Texas. On the border. Where, no lie, you can get awesome Mexican food from the little kitchens in the fucking GAS STATIONS. They are building a Chipotle here. “Who’s the hell’s going to eat there,” I asked my husband. “White people.” Looks like we’re moving on up...

Agreed. I can’t help but wonder if he’s the devil. Like literally Satan.

“The Grinch’s musty, cum-stained pelt.”

This is our first Xmas back since we moved away and I had high hopes to make it the best yet now that my preschooler is old enough to enjoy traditions. Spent the first week tired, sick, and alone with my kid as my mom spends all her time at church cleaning and doing Jesus’ laundry (for free) and then endlessly…

“Countless.” Lol

He’s the only person I consider so good looking I’m afraid to look at him. Like staring at the sun.

The first version I ever heard was by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan, so I fell in love. But yes, it’s a little creepy. THIS made me recognize...

She might get off on the idea, but not the sex. Sex with virgins is awful!

Agreed. Whatever will the Trump supporters think/say about having a Latino as the nominee??

I’m not sure which of the following shock me more: that he has this good a taste in music, or that he would deign listen to somebody who isn’t built like a supermodel/ he hasn’t insulted her in some way...

Leia is my family nickname (little bro couldn’t pronounce my whole name). After reading this I feel extra lucky that my one Leia action figure was the bounty hunter Leia from Jedi. You could take the helmet off. I loved it so much.

HELL yes. The Alchemist is one of my favorite books; Named my kid after the protagonist.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this is who she reminds me of. Yay, research!

You’re right, they’re probably assholes, but it kinda looks like she’s singing and the pop is a mic?

I’ve never heard a better description than impotent rage. Thank you. My husband will soon be giving a presentation on the psychological challenges faced by adolescent boys (and their consequences) and I think he should borrow that phrase.