You can’t George Glass Rihanna, dude. If you were truly grown, you’d know.

As much as I think it’s more likely #4, school is about to start up again, so it COULD just be #5...

What’s this about a horse in a club? Is this real or metaphorical? I’m confused and intrigued...

This article should be compulsory reading for all parents. It’s that true and that good. Preach on, Tracy!

You guys are freaking me out because it seems so common from the comments, but I didn’t use one, and my son never took to it despite my attempts. Sincerely, is there something wrong with us??

Omg the first (and last) sexy lingerie outfit I ever bought was a black satin and lace number from Hot Topic. It took like an hour to put on because of the garter snaps and stockings. So much sweating...

Moving to south Texas has cured me of my lifelong concern. I have stretch marks on my bingo wings but it’s 102 out so I give zero fucks.

Ikr, it’s just smart! They’re like cats: they can’t resist stringy, squiggly objects passing by.

I remember thinking it couldn’t possibly get MORE ridic. I was wrong.

Wow. Such accurate.

The smarmy assclown face of our conservative politicians is easily mistaken for drunkenness. Also masturbation.

Wtf are you serious? Were you trying to give me a history lessson I don’t need, or denying that the majority of the sorority sisters at the airport were black?? #missedthepoint

And the fact they were in Texas. Surely a coincidence!

Hmm, I wonder if the books would have been less suspicious if the sorority was founded by white girls...

Seriously. Glad I’m not the only one. I was beginning to worry it was never going to happen for them. Feel like she’s been wanting to have a baby for a long time. Yay!

This is the first time I’ve seen a photo of an actual person who looks exactly like what one would imagine a police sketch of a serial killer would look like.

For REAL. This brought me to tears it was so perfect.

That’s why one should never be without some tea to sip...

Don’t forget Beyoncé sitting on her throne looking flawless and unperturbed.

The only one that didn’t look completely silly in all this was Nicki. I’m not a fan of either one but Taylor had me defending Nicki all day long. I haven’t even seen Anaconda! But Tay Tay pissed me off by opening her mouth. Damn.