Every morning I wake up and life seems normal, but then the tweets come and it’s like a horrible fucking groundhog day, over and over and over

Great attempt at corralling Trump on one subject (talk about ADHD), and trying to get him to complete even one comprehensible and complete sentence.

It just comes back each time it forgets the wifi password? :D

I could barely read the title of this post. I cannot wait for September 19th, the first day I can early vote in my state.  

Ha! Trick question!

Waddles sees EVERYTHING as a reflection of himself. If you praise him you are forever a “great person”. If you somehow “offended” him you are part of the “deep state” hell-bent on unfairly defaming his “character”. The way he sees it, the sum total of John Lewis’ entire life boiled down to “snubbed me”. 

Or how about golf terms? The fewer strokes, the better...the fewer DEATHS, the better!

Boom. There’s your answer... 6:20, the exact moment that Jonathan Swan attempted to commit mental seppuku.

I mean, we already knew he was a moron, but this is really, really bad. I wonder if he’d be able to understand if you put it in stock terms:

“No, no...if you check the X vs Y axis, you’ll see the error. You can’t compare world population to US infections. It’s not a valid statement.” Trump: “Axes? This is a paper with lines on it. Good lines. Lines going up means good things. There’s no axes.” (chuckles) “You would have done real bad on that test I aced,…

I have to commend Jonathan Swan for how well he handled this. I watched it last night; I could not stomach all of it, but I did get through most of it.

If I wanted to read the responses I gave on the bar exam to questions I had no idea how to answer, I’d do that. At least those would be in complete sentences. Mostly.

It is telling that the people that like pranks are the most pissed off when they are pranked. It’s a shitty power move.

Are there people who are into “pranks” that aren’t assholes?

I have always contended that pranks and practical jokes are acts of hostility. They are not funny or friendly. Ellen’s “pranks” certainly help prove my point.

This 100%. I remember seeing an episode years ago where she made a bit out of repeatedly scaring Taylor Swift. It was played off as harmless and funny, but Swift seemed really uncomfortable to me - in the moments she was being scared she looked absolutely terrified and would scream “don’t!” before regaining her…

Clearly, Frank Ocean’s brother and Pierce Brosnan’s son had a beautiful friendship. In all the photos Brosnan posted, they appear to share pure joy in one another’s company. What a tragic loss for the families of the two teenage boys who died and clearly the many friends who lovedand were touched by them.

For sure. 10 million is probably more than enough to go the rest of my life without wanting for everything.

Her Forbes net worth is over 300 million.

“She knows she can be tough at times,” the source continued, “but believes she works hard and is extremely creative and that it’s a privilege to work for her and be around her.”