OMG - I didn’t click the link and assumed this was the Kylie referenced, because she is the only worthy/logical choice. 

Or maybe he just swam to the nearest shore.

You know you go out with him to the bar, he has a few and starts talking about the great Chicago fire and how you could feel the cinders in your hair miles away and then goes “uh, so I’ve heard” and clams up.

Still makes you laugh thinking about it, right? I had a similar experience after a terrible break up. I ran into the friend that had introduced me to my ex about a week after the breakup. She told me he had ran over himself with his car and suffered two broken legs. I busted out laughing and said through the laughter,…

I believe the real reason Paul Rudd knows so much about the Titanic, is that he was onboard when it sank and managed to make it into a lifeboat. Dude’s immortal.

There’s only ONE Kylie who should be on The Voice...and it ain’t a fuckin’ Jenner.

Is there anything Paul Rudd cannot do?

“Hm, I am not sure this headline writer knows how copyright laws work”

I can’t reply to the replies because I am not approved, but the explanation is this (and believe me, it took me a while to figure it out too):

I will take each and every one of those desserts.

I remember during the Romney-Kerry election, Mitt said something about how poor he and his wife were when they were just getting started, eating pasta every night while they lived off of the dividends from their stocks - do you know how much money you have to have in order to be able to live off the dividends?  But…

Immature potatoes harvested during the spring or summer are called new potatoes, or sometimes creamers or fingerlings. They are not a separate variety of potato, but younger versions of other varieties. The skin of new potatoes is generally thinner and flakier than the skin found on older potatoes, so they are rarely…

OKKK lol it’s a little more inventive then ‘every other wedding menu ever’ - I realize that there are core concepts (like the surf or turf vibes) but honey, when is the last time you had a salt cod beignet, cured egg yolk, or whey braised cabbage?

Rich people sincerely believe they earned everything they have.

That’s a good-ass wedding menu.

What kind of place must you be in your life to not make this kind of connection? Is there some sort of clinical term for this total lack of ability to reflect upon one’s self? Truly amazing.

Bobby Flay is looking for love. [People]

I recently had a reunion with an old friend and we shared a hotel room. We BOTH brought some!

Ah, yes, Picasso, who is most famous for strictly adhering to the standards of conventional beauty, a very good artist to be nicknamed after when you are in the business of splicing bits of face together for purely aesthetic purposes! Sign me up!

Without clicking through, I’d assumed he was now shilling for the tummy teas Jameela Jamil dislikes so much. I didn’t expect it to go to shit (literally) and sharts for Charmin and Poo Pouri.