Holy shitsnacks, I've been emasculating my husband for years and never even knew it! Excuse me, I'm off to push my stiletto clad foot into his head while shrieking "YOU LOVE IT! YOU LOVE IT, WORM!" in my best harpy caw.

tl;dr

They cannot! :D

Diet Coke is gross. How can people even drink that?

Sleep? Children's Stories? Leo needs to record this:

"The octogenarian last made headlines in 2008, when local youths attacked the senior-flamingo in an act of senseless violence."

Quark and Garak

Xena, Warrior Princess started as a villain on Hercules before going good for her own series.

Stan Rogers, ladies and gentlemen... THIS man knew a sea shanty...

What a beautiful story.

THRESHOLD