I went on a coffee date with a guy once who tried the "kino", kept touching me. So I started punching him in the arm every time he touched, gradually increasing the force till he said "Why are you hitting me?" to which I replied "Why are you touching me?"

This is my favorite line in the post, and I will be giggling about it as I eat my frijoles with lunch:

Get yourself in there real close, grab a handful of his shirt, look very intensely into his eyes and whisper, "This is my design."

Seriously why are men so creepy? What happened to "hey, can I buy you a drink?" Does that not get fan fare?

Jenna Marbles also has a great way to get rid of people you don't want to talk to.

No, but really, give us some clues. I'm heading to a conference next week and you would not believe (or maybe you would) how many guys in academia try this shit. It isn't just the mouth-breathing, axe-wearing, 24 year olds.

They're also terrible at short trading because they spend so much time at lunch laughing at salad.

Regardless of the facts, women get the BLAME.

Forbes contributor Tim Worstall just published a story titled "The Banking Commission Gets it Wrong: We Need Fewer Women Traders, Not More."

Lemme guess, the banking crash of 1929 was caused by women collectively stopping making the trader bros sandwiches?

Being a trader, I was going to make a serious post about the terrible feedback loop of testosterone (and its effects on risk taking) guys get under when trading successfully, but then I realised the forbes article was so stupid it wasn't worth it.

Yeah, I mean he jokes about it, but that seriously IS the logical implication of so much sexist garbage about what men are "hardwired" to do. Ok then, men can't be stock traders, also we should probably keep them in cages because they clearly can't stop sexually assaulting all over the place, right? Why is it that men…

I'll get that bitch a short position on commodities futures. Bitches love short positions on commodities futures.

Notice that he pretends that banning all men would be just as acceptable to him. I say we latch onto that part and start campaigning in his name. After all, men are the ones he claims can't control themselves so banning them makes way more sense.

These goddamn dames coming into the workforce, the armed forces and Wallstreet! Walking around with their goddamn dame parts. Ruining everything for everyone!

Men doing risky things to impress the lady-traders because they can't help themselves seems like a pretty solid reason to keep THEM off the trading floor. They clearly can't control their emotions.

Financial crisis because WOMEN

"....according to a fella at Forbes, the problem is that we had too many women traders. And getting rid of women traders will reduce risk-taking and all of its negative consequences."