Wait, solving crimes AND robbing banks? Seems a bit hypocritical of them, but I’m in.

I no, rite? Sign me up. It could usher in the return of paper magazines. Who can be butch and leisurely enough with a tablet/phone in hand?

Could only find one non-voluptuous, non-flat, non-hippy woman...

Probably the non-committal lesbians are just too poor for one of his dresses. Or something.

When you are making up shit like this, it is MANDATORY to say something like, “ I know this sounds made up but...” also, must note that you know the affected person. Did you read a pamphlet on writing cheesy ghost stories? Trying to get on “A Haunting”? Well, keep trying I guess.

Well, they weren’t very good at it, then, because they didn’t ask for credit card info, just for them to come to the desk and I guess they knew he hadn’t come to the desk after the first call using some really good binoculars in Yugoslavia or wherever. Pretty sure this Ron Henderson wanted to put a local spin on the…

I think she was reading the wrong AAA list. They have to have the best places for having sex in cars list. I mean it’s AAA.

Only 20 min. away! I suppose I will no longer pass Leucadia on my way to Oceanside, but instead, stop to savor the fine delicacies of Fulano’s.

I can just hear moms everywhere yelling “DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?”

Nooooooo. You are fucking with us, yes? Everyone who has an Internet knows what a marijuana vaporizer is, yes?

I shake my fist angrily at every chimp I see. Damn you, chimp boy for beating out the Bonobo for evolutionary supremacy and yielding a world based half on violence instead of sex!

Indeed. Make friends. Pick a friend you are crushing on. Make a pass. Get married if it works out. This honestly seems more normal and more usual than any version of dating in movies/TV/blogs, etc. worked awesomely for me.

This is nothing like a Terry Gross interview. She didn’t ask how she felt when her father was killed by a bison. Or what it was like going out with a bison. Plus, it was far too interesting.

Polyamory just makes me feel like some ape creature with grunty ape jealousy cuz I could never. Anywho, just popping in to remind twenty-somethings to have sex with lots of people in all sorts of configurations or else you may live to regret once you are this guy’s wife and start craving strange lips. Get married at…

The “American Dream” part of the original, and Brooks’ reaction to that has set me off. Why are we so in love with fantasies and lies? The notion that a house and a yard is our salvation, climate change is false, vaccines cause your ears to fall off, ghosts are haunting you RIGHT NOW. Why are Americans so allergic to…

Thanks for rolling your eyes at me. Trying to find the white privilege in my life and reverse it, not letting racist comments go by because I don’t like conflict. Supporting legal and policy changes to rout racism out of institutions. Mostly following the lead of POC who say how best to walk in their shoes. Sorry i’m…

Oh, shit, yeah, because if i’m not going to use those bits, they can just fuck right off and I can be any soul gender, class, shade I want to be. Damn, now it’s too many choices.

I keep seeing this lately. White people desperate to say, “but i’m not...” As white people, when there is a conversation about race happening, we need to shut the hell up and listen. Not continue to prove our privilege by creating spaces where there are more white people whining about white things. Shut up,…

The entire muggy south says fuck you. Ceiling fans are obligatory, but so is living in the smallest room of the house with the window unit in August in Louisiana.