My younger sister insists to this day that her high school friend’s brother is institutionalized because he believes he is “living inside a grape,” due to a bad trip.

I always appreciate the opportunity to use this meme. 

Doubling down on stupid decisions, so nobody would figure out I didn’t know what I was doing, was the story of my 20s. The fact that none of them left a permanent mark was a triumph of luck over judgement.

I prefer Nice Load Suckers.

Cold hot sauce is an abomination. 

Six degrees doesn't count as cold, Rambo?

It’s OK Melania.

Kellyanne Conway has reptile jaws! I knew something was off-putting about her, but I couldn't quite articulate it. It's the fact that she can unhinge her lower jaw to swallow large prey!

People have been drawing penises on everything since the dawn of humanity. The true OG dick runner’s drawing in the savannas of Africa has probably been lost to the depths of time.

It’s hard to know who the original is. Guess we will have to see when their Instagram accounts were erected.

clothesless 

Fast asleep facedown and sprawled naked across the large bed.

Hasn't Greece been through enough? 

I have a friend who had a gender reveal party, and when they cut into the cake, it was this weird, purple/grey color. They couldn’t tell what color it was supposed to be and had to call their doctor the next morning, lol. 

who cares

I don’t think they’ll officially end the press briefings, I think they’ll just rebrand them;

My favorite part of that is how Adam Driver is not just the third wheel, but they literally put a photo of a watch between them. lol

It’s a physical impossibility for Elon Musk to be out of anyone’s league. If it wasn’t for the Musk Family Emerald Mine, he’d be playing video games in a basement suite with at least one samurai sword on the wall.