“Take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus.”

Lisa Bloom suddenly manifested in his house yesterday within 30 milliseconds of the NYT story being published.

An empty threat. Completely unlike being an indentured servant.

Interesting how language acquisition is a virtue for rich kids with tutors, but not for bilingual kids who grow up in non-English households. I can only hope that at some point Arabella talks some shit about her family with Grandpa Xi while they smile and laugh with pride.

Only when they’re at the Nazi Party

I’m honestly surprised there have been no suicides.

Jeremy Piven seems to be under the impression that people liked him before the allegations came out. Bless his heart.

I just see it as part of Newsweek’s continuing quest to have the worst possible takes on everything.

Pretty sure it’s been known for 20 years he raped and abused his ex-wife:

You can be positive that Xi Jinping, Shinzo Abe and numerous other leaders will be coached by the best profilers money can buy, before they sit down with the President of the United States. They’ll have a detailed psych profile of Trump worked up and kept up to date. They probably hold some mock negotiations with…

So, it’s like an Olive Garden, and the bread sticks are the dicks?

Maybe it’s just me but I find it odd to use slang terms like cocks and dicks in an article about a serious issue.

I can taste it. How can I taste it?

Mid-90s in NYC, I happened to be on a dinner date with Bob Weinstein (pleasant and funny, but also a little awkward and nerdy), when Steven Seagal came over to our table to say hello to him...wearing a silk kimono, bowing, hands in prayer position, acting as if he was the Dali Lama. It was bizarre. I tried not to…

It’s apparent that Seagal thought he was ABOVE THE LAW due to his FIRE DOWN BELOW. All of those women must have felt UNDER SIEGE but later were OUT FOR JUSTICE.

Portia’s then-agent also sounds like a gem.

I think we can all agree that this is probably the least surprising of all of the recent revelations.

I mean, it’s not like opinions on the quality of someone’s writing are exminently subjective or anything... I enjoy his writing (inaccuracies and all). I would read this. How does this make me “pro sexually assaulting 14 year-olds”?

As a survivor of the Great Ponderosa Massacre of 1997, wherein the buffet where I worked discontinued free coffee for senior citizens, I wholeheartedly endorse this as the truth. Apparently, charging 50 cents for a bottomless cup of coffee is one bridge too far and entitles you to fling a full coffee cup at your…

For the two positions on my ballot where it was Republican or bust, I wrote in the ghosts of RFK and Robert Anton Wilson. Was it a worthless gesture of petty spite? Sure was. Did I enjoy doing it anyway? Sure did.