Congratulations on being that person. Enjoy your weekend.

God, you pepple.

Good for you, white girl.

All these dum-dums thinking the exact the same thing: “I am the most important person in the room.”

Who gives a flying fuck about this dude?

Hello, and welcome to my face.

STUNNED!

Context is key. Your logic here is ... I’ll be generous and just call it “flawed.”

That’s a thirsty-ass looking father.

You’ve never heard of Transylvania University? Have you ever actually been to a university, anywhere, as not part of a field trip?

Dibs.

For better or for worse, the title “Maxim” means big old tatties to me. It is the only reason the magazine exists in the first place. Reinventing it was such a colossal miscalculation. Nobody wants this.

I just grew dog ovaries looking at Roxie.

Ronan (rolling my eyes) Farrow is an entitled, coddled dipshit.

Only three words to describe this: State-sanctioned Terrorism.

Whoah, I was the 420 star, dude.

I am a big fan of people dorking out about the dorkiest inane shit possible. No, really!

I am a big fan of people dorking out about the dorkiest inane shit possible. No, really!

Idris Elba bores the shit out of me, and I can’t be the only one ...

BRAVO, STRANGER-BLOGGER - YOU HAPPENED UPON A MOST UNEXPECTED AND HILARIOUS QUIRP. Er, QUIFF, or something. Derp.

ATTENTION COLORED FRANCIE: