This is unnecessarily asshole-ish. But funny.

Google News is what I check in the morning. I also like NY Times, LA Times, Boston Globe, Guardian UK, Christian Science Monitor (great reporting, ignore the obligatory Christian “Science” op-ed), Bloomberg.

“Her joy is contagious” = contact high.

Whatever. She’s a lukewarm talent.

I would kill to be on either one of these cheeks.

This is wince-inducing in its accuracy. Poor dude.

Nicki Minaj is piddling.

“unpaid leave for one year”

I can’t with her fucking face anymore.

I want to go back in time and be BFFs with these girls.

I felt the same.

That’s fucking awful.

The Sassy take-down of L7 was truly eviscerating. I just remember something, something, “They cough up a lot of attitude for a band that relies on a rhyming dictionary.” LOL.

Not very original.

Where are you from, that you’re concerned? Where have you been, that you’re not surprised? You sound pretty worldly.

Just for one second, consider if she is right. What if Tila Tequila is the one woman on the planet that can manipulate air into energy forms “somehow?” Huh? Huh?

The Sopranos thing doesn’t surprise me at all. DeNiro has always been highly overrated.

“OH, TILA!” is how I am going to shut my boyfriend down from now on.

Somebody help me here. How in the goddamn fuck can *shiver* TYGA afford to rent a 10.2 million dollar home? CAN YOU NAME ONE FUCKING SONG THIS DUMBASS HAS RELEASED!?

That is long-winded. Never a good sign.