I’ve now just realised that would be a better Fantastic Four movie.

Aunt May I Take You Out To Dinner

Capish, Thorish, Hulkish, Dr Stangeish...

So... Taylor Kitsch? (It worked for Deadpool)

that if you watched the TV miniseries you absolutely cannot get that image of a mulleted, mom-jeans wearing white trash devil out of your mind

On this episode of X-Files Mulder and Scully investigate a year long bout of insanity at a small town community college, locally referred to as the “gas leak year” that may be linked to a crazy asian man, secret military rations and strange berries found growing on a local mountain.

Moviegoers, mainly.

Pitch: It's basically Orphan Black but Patton Oswalt, and he travels the world handing out lanyards to deserving people.

I've been nothing but kind to her and enthusiastic and shown her exactly how I feel. And to get just shut down because there's another guy already, it's frustrating.

Warner Bros. has won the script for this "female-driven scifi action" movie by Tony Jaswinski in a bidding war.

Breadstix, Inc.

Excuse me, but I was born on March 30, 1958, and Alec was born on April 3, 1958. I got here four days before he did, therefore Baldwin is imitating me. And, by the way, when I do Alec Baldwin, I freaking well DO Alec Baldwin (See "Team America: World Police"), Massapequa accent and all. What I do in commercial reads…

Show of hands: who else Googled Mitchum-Humpsterfumper Disease?

But the merchant was a very important person. He sold monogramed thermos clay jugs.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

Because I love this column, I'd like to give back some of the pleasure it has given me.