Yeah, they don't seem so bad. They seem pretty cute, actually.

That is not a happy girl.

Yo, at ten kids have permanent teeth. Were that woman's nipples made of titanium?

Highly, highly possible. But if I were going to start working in the homes of these families, that would be the family I'd be most nervous about.

Very defensive looking. Exactly what I was thinking.

Yeah, I know this show is all about "weird families" and whatever, but most of the families look pretty cute and the kids look normal. I'd feel totally relaxed coming to work in their homes (or tents) with my equipment bag and doing a sports medicine session. But the Machenberg-Ney family would make me feel pretty…

Now I'm not an expert photo analyst, but I have worked with LOTS of families over the years, and I will pride myself on being able to spot some weirdness. And I'm telling you: the Machenberg-Ney family is not doing so well. The mom hypnotizes the three kids? Yeah, well, from the body language of those three kids, I…

I remember about three years ago, the makeup brand Illamasqua put out a series of tutorials on its website that used a model who had quite a few blemishes, and blemishes that were not always totally hidden by the makeup, which was clearly the choice of the makeup artist. They were great tutorials, and the model was…

My butt is extraordinary. It is immense. It is hard. It has "lift."

My bunnies are really un-stealthy food thieves. My mini rex hops over and tries to take away a whole slice of bread and thinks I won't notice.

I'm a woman and I also have back hair. Not the shoulders-upper back type of back hair, but some sort of canine patch in the lower back region. I also used to do Nair, but it's such an awkward place, it's impossible to do it without help. I mean, my head hair is pretty spectacular. It's four feet long and jet black…

Holy carp! RadhaPineapple can still get his exact domain name!

Thank you! Phew!

Hooray for healthy releases from life's troubles!

Oh I beg of you PLEASE do not let this guy know that I'm still telling stories about him all these years later. He has such a bad temper and holds such grudges. He fired me because I put multicolored rubber bands on some discovery documents, and opposing counsel remarked on them, saying "Hey, nice rubber bands," and…

The lawyers in this firm were especially unprofessional and welcomed unprofessional behavior from opposing counsel.

Yo acute anxiety attacks over here. Lift three times a week — no anxiety for six months.

She definitely stole it. French cuffs!?? Yeah, she stole that shirt, dammit. She probably laughs like a Disney villain while she caresses it.

Through all the hard times in my life, I always knew I could find joy in ballet and weightlifting. Without them, I would not be a mentally healthy person at all. Nothing else in this world keeps me on an even keel but ballet and weightlifting.