This just in: Jezebel staff as equally unable to handle criticism as their reader base.

..says the writer for a site with a comments section (replying within that comments section, nonetheless).

That seems...needlessly aggressive. :/

When will you be posting the illustrations of what Disney princess pussies look like?

Is it available for purchase? Asking for a friend.

My dad is the man.

I think the whole reason the studio has been slow on this is because it would mean that you hire Ryan Reynolds (or anyone else) and then have him covered up for the whole movie. Studios hate that. I'm not sure the public cares though.

Hunger Games? Really? Really?

Flowbee- I'm not one for as-seen-on-tv stuff but this thing, wow! Great haircut and nothing to sweep up. It's much better than clippers... No hair on my neck. I just wish the vacuum was a little bit more quiet.

An external battery. What- you don't already have one? You either are one of the lucky ones who don't use their phone ever/has really good battery life/has constant access to an outlet or you carry your wall charger around with you and are constantly hunting for a wall outlet.

You should have gone to the bathroom and said "I'll send you something too", then sent him a picture of a bigger dick.

I feel like the rule needs to be: don't send dick picks when they're unsolicited, period. If you wanted a dick pick two hours into the date and he wanted to oblige, I don't see a problem (and sexting is hardly the death of Modern Woo...). It's the fact that it wasn't requested that made it inappropriate, not…

"Nice tities"

But you did need his sperm to conceive, carry and deliver

that's really nice of you to give your husband the courtesy of letting him be involved in the naming of your child

Wait, did we just get Rick Roll'd by expecting not to see the video? Is the universe going to end now?

"I swear, I'm not just trying to RickRoll the readers of Gizmodo."

It puts the lotion on its phone

Oh my god please tell me they made that with their own two hands