Here's how to blend in: Don't. Stop. Moving. Till. You're. There.

Yeah but flat AND lifted?

Stick-on bra? Body tape? Magic??? HOW???

I am nasty cackling and making an Aww face at the same time. Thank you?

Haha Satan. Mental High-five, friend.

I was 22 years old and cute as hell. I walk up to a hot guy on the dance floor and shyly venture a "Hi". He says "Count to three" and laughs in my face. Apparently I was much more very very drunker than cute thankyouverymuch.

Oh man. That Make Up Addiction Reddit page is dangerous. Could spend DAYS on it!

Well played and gugh.

Anyone else see that and get a horror film-type scream playing in their head?

I would love to meet the real-life Vickie!

I would wear this whole outfit. Without a trace of irony. And I was a teen in the nineties and am an adult who often gets lauded for her good taste.

#1: Sorry you feel that way about yourself :(

Hey gang. Irrelevant but I thought Jezebel would be the best place to ask: What is that song called that has that new music video with a red-haired female singer with glasses and mostly men but also some women, all wearing makeup, in the background? The song was so friggin catchy but I can't for the life of me…

If only in the US breasts weren't seen as obscene but a natural part of the body, one that doesn't need to be hidden in all but private or pornographic scenarios.

Agreed. I think he looks like an oversized sleepy toddler. But I'm sure he'd think I look like Grumpy Cat. So whatever.

I wish I could call my abuser and tell him exactly how he fucked up my life but he'd probably just call me crazy because he he's a very blind and damaged individual.

Uh all these girls are thinner than I am and I would not call myself chubby :(

I made it a point as a youngster to make out with girls in PRIVATE (even if that just meant a public bathroom) because although I didn't understand my own sexuality yet I understood that I wanted that kiss to be for me and her and not for the benefit of looky-loos.

I wish I did. This girl is fantastic.