If I didn't have Narcolepsy, I could totally got for being a truck driver! Before it got worse, I used to have fantastic driving endurance during my functional days. Granted, the exchange was that I'd usually have a bad day or two after, but man...awesome. I can't do that any more, and it saddens me. Having my mutant…

Your .gif is wrong. Kinja is the cat on the table, and the things the cat shoves around are our posts.

They'd accomplish this by synthesizing or cultivating bacteria that would poop out aspartame or similar along with maybe some citric acid.

Team Rabbit is exceptionally displeased with your assessment.

I don't know how you don't live in a state of perpetual bliss around all of these cars.

Parents like that tend to keep a stranglehold on their children well into adulthood. It's part of the system of control.

Spider-cat only wants to help take care of those pesky rats for you.

Something something Rapture something something Jesus something Revelations.

America's creepy old uncle everyone wishes would stop coming to family functions.

Going to add to this, I've found that the hip and knee thing works best when you've done some abdominal exercises. Building the core can help make up for back problems during coitus if you're careful.

Can't tell if exploiting....or self-secure in his sexuality...=_=

Smooth Bearn!!

Yeah number 1 is pretty good but I'm going to have to go with Hurt Reynolds here.

That's OK; she can have some of mine. I appear to have extra:

Only part machine; she's a Cybearg.

Next you'll be reporting about the thousands of male Americans who just emigrated in order to be male porn stars in Japan.

I love how Jalopnik is perpetually the test site for any new Kinja changes.

See my reply to kinjaninjawinja (phew!). I would hardly call tempo and instruments used "every aspect". The song utilizes a lot of country-based composition, and honestly before her meltdown became obvious I was hopeful that it would mark the direction she'd be headed towards...which sadly hasn't happened.

Actually, after snooping around for covers in order to prove my point, she has very clearly pretty much done this herself already:

I've got a project on the backburner to demonstrate, but just imagine Wrecking Ball with a slightly slower tempo, played with nothing but an acoustic guitar or maybe with added strings, and sung by someone walking around in a field sadly.