I’m afraid people in my office will play “match the shoes under the cubicle” and I don’t even snack or do anything fucked up (other than my morning constitutional) that would require them to do so.

What I want to know is, if the player character is “The General,” why the fuck we can’t just send Garvey to do all the bitch work?

This line in particular is delivered with impeccable timing, sir.

“It’s glandular!”

I dunno where that commenter rests his or her head, but I had waffles all throughout my childhood growing up in Australia. We weren’t rich or anything, either.

I can’t tell whether the intention was dumb food stories, or bad drunk food creations, or shitty childhood kitchen fuckups...so I’ll just do one of each.

Same thing happened to me when I was about 10. The concept of “brunch” was new to me, for obvious reasons, so how was I to know that the grown-ups were drinking bottomless mimosas?

Whoa, I’d never seen Pinkham outside of the BCO comments. It’s like seeing a unicorn in, like, the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru or something.

if a man has a seminal emission

As someone who spent the first two years of his career editing TV and radio news scripts into a readable format for online consumption, it never ceases to amaze me that TMZ of all places can’t afford someone ... who can edit its ... TV voicers for ... people ... who ... read ... them ... on th...e webs...ite.

If your employer is ESPN, the answer *may* be “yes.”

It sounds like going down on an elephant

The bar I work in carries it in a 16oz can. My assessment was that it wasn’t much different than a lot of the macro lagers I grew up drinking in Australia - not bad, but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it. I’m sure the Iron Maiden branding probably gets it a lot more attention than it probably would here otherwise.

I’m at work and clicked it anyway. I guess Northwestern’s J-school is called Medill, which is the first half of the portmanteau which finishes with another name for a rubber sex toy.

Every Friday I'd eat a piece of fried chicken for lunch, over my kitchen sink. Loved it.

+1 and I cannot lie

I tried a Notch a few weeks ago when we received a couple cases at the bar I work at. At first I was underwhelmed, but after adjusting my expectations based off a fall and winter of drinking big Maine beers, Notch is absolutely something you could drink happily all damn day in the warmer months of the year.

Apple juice sounds like a terrific substitute. After a bad childhood experience with sour milk in cereal, I haven't been able to stomach the smell of milk since (I'm now 29), but apple juice strikes me as appealing.

So nice, they named it twice!

Wagamama is/was in Emporium, right? I can't even imagine what class trip would be dumb enough to take 100+ kids to Emporium for a meal. Jesus Christ.