I rarely do this, but read the fucking article.

Those tasty chips you enjoyed as a child? They were lead paint.

You're not very smart are you?

I made no mention of the Ukraine crash here, because it's completely unrelated... I'm not sure what you're talking about?

This isn't creepy or terrifying because there is no such thing as ghosts.

I'm sorry, but your headline really oversold it. This is approximately the level terror this inspired:

Dat's nufin

I wish there was an audio track (not that horrible noise.)

Poor kid is so terrified he's been reduced to sitting on his own stool.

When asked about his loyalty to the child, the cat replied "What child? I saw a fucking dog, I acted. Nibbles is looking out for Nibbles."

As a final "fuck you" to the NBA, Sterling plans on dying tomorrow.

And aged extremely, extremely well.

Re: Winona Ryder

How big?

ETA: i'm not going to say which is which.

On the phone: "Dude, you told me it would be easy to rob a bank with a weapon. ... Point what gun were? I'm here with a cleaver ... stop laughing ... stop laughing, 该死的上帝! ... "

Not laugh?

"Glass FTW"