Maybe men should get better at that.

I think you just successfully pitched the next Jennifer Lawrence movie.

I like to pour the grease off into a separate container, drink the grease, and throw the pizza away.

They mistook him for John Hendren, an al Jazeera correspondent, who, when asked about it, had this to say:

I mean those things will definitely make you healthier but they don’t guarantee weight loss.

Have you ever had a refreshing glass of cheap red mixed with Coca-Cola? Suprisingly delicious.

Seriously, just be happy with what you like and don’t assume someone is less adventurous because their kinks are different.

You can't possibly be comparing gay marriage to owning human beings. False equivalent.

ANY of it. Any is too much.

ETA sorry about the hugeness.

He doesn’t and never has wanted to be President.

This is the thing about Portlandia, though.

ERRONEOUS!

eating a salad as a full meal is like eating whispers

This clearly flies in the face of everything that Maxxism stands for. Hell you might as well just go to Lenins & things.

Being a thin woman in America is as hard as being a white Christian male.

“You know, the Confederate flag is just a symbol of States’ Rights.

my thought process: i would 100% take baby gin and codine. oh, you meant baby you and not gin for babies? my bad...

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

Call you an idiot on the internet? I mean, you can get all "COME AT ME, BRO" if you want, but its pretty silly.