A Keiser and shots. What could go wrong?

Notice that his helmet stays on throughout the slide. This is due to the recent emphasis on avoiding an improper capsize.

*Fifty years later:

I didn't even know they had MMA in France.

"I bet she gives great helmet."

KIA: We are suspending our advertising and sponsorship activations with the Clippers

In my house BJs are BlueJackets.

At least he'll know what question to expect the next time he beats up a cab driver.

At Fenway, that's known as a brush with Boston's upper crust.

The mistake was acknowledged in this Astro tweet: "ruh roh"

the curmudgeon in me wants to yell at the guy to look at the damn scrum that's going on a few feet away with your own eyes

Keith: "Hey, that reminds me, you gotta be careful when you go motorboating."

I didn't need these three tweets to figure out what Kaepernick can do with 4:20 characters.

About a dozen years ago, my dog killed a possum in our backyard. She didn't just kill it, but pretty much disemboweled the damn thing. Long story short, I got to carry a dead possum on a shovel down the street to dispose of the carcass in the woods, all the while holding the shovel away from my body so I wouldn't step…

Just last year, she lost the title to Dexter Manley.

He does know that Brian McCann is on the Yankees now, right?

"Jemery"?!? Was his mother a dyslexic Pearl Jam fan?

The only problem is that he cries every time someone says "split finger."

In the Collegiate Sarcasm bracket, Derek was cunt-punted in the first round.