Why the fuck are you getting shit on your finger while you’re pooping? I could understand an accidental poke-through while you’re wiping, but you’re not going to be handling your phone at that point. It’s likely put away.

Holy fuck, do you ever get salty about basketball players who don’t possess a dick for you to suck!

Now you guys can retcon Tommy Craggs as black, and Gawker will be better for it!

GREAT ARTICLE. Glad to see you are able to come up with some content when there’s, like, nothing else in the news cycle...like shootings in Tennessee, or a major boner by your own company...

I’m glad you folks are covering this very important issue instead of something like the Muslim guy killing a few people in Tennessee or your own co-workers outing a gay man.

Good idea, get a jump on looking for new jobs!

You’re watching this while you should be thinking about whether or not you’ll still have your “correspondent” position with GQ when Hogan-Geithner take Gawker down?

Every time I think of you.

How do you Deadspin bloggers determine who has to stop sucking NBA dick long enough to write a hockey “article”? Whatever it is, Petchesky must be horrible at it, because he seems to lose all the time. Kalaf must be pretty decent, and Ley must be the king of it.

Soooo....it appears that you thought way too hard about this movie. And apparently you have shitty taste just like fellow Gawker blogger Leslie Horn.

I don’t understand how Empire isn’t the highest rated show on television, and how it isn’t nominated to win all the awards. After all, for years Gawker websites have been telling me that we need tons more black people on television, and doesn’t this show have a primarily black cast? This doesn’t make any sense to me...

Your kids don’t listen to you because they have no respect for you. After all, they are probably aware you are a Gawker blogger.

Dude can dress and identify however he wants. Shame on you if you’re implying that he isn’t permitted to.

Probably more than you! I bet that makes you grrrrrrr even more!

Bullshit. That’s an ex who she lied and said was only a friend. Don’t be dumb.

I can understand your reservations concerning this water slide. Spending longer than a minute NOT sucking the dick of some NBA player would be pretty difficult for most of you Deadspin bloggers...

Protip: We’re not watching this shit. You are. Because you have proven that you have terrible taste over and over and over...

Oh God. White people on television. Why can’t all the white people just all disappear already?!?

He may be terrible, but he probably gets more trim than the average Gawker blogger (excluding the lesbians over at Jezebel).

All you fucking stoners and druggies and Commies over at Gawker must be fucking overjoyed by this.