The Planet Fitness in my area doesn't have a sauna. FUCK THAT. I'll stick with the Y.

I don't even know what to say about all this. Our locker room conversations usually involve talking about women's breasts, generally making fun of everyone on the team regardless of their dick size, talking about the team we are about to play or just played, and bitching about the referees. Also, we occasionally talk…

I am greatly relieved that this will never happen to me. Mainly because I don't take pictures of myself.

Did I miss "All Gawker *ahem*'writers'*ahem*" somewhere on this list?

Do you really think rockstars invite hot women backstage to hear their stance on important political issues of the day? I'm not saying it's right, but when someone accepts an invitation to go backstage, they should have an inkling of what they're getting into..

My God, I didn't even dare DREAM that the video could have been in slow-motion!

I was very disappointed to find that the image above is just a still image, and not the actual video for the song...

I think your idea of my dreams and my actual dreams greatly differ...

Maleficent's been hitting the Red Bull pretty hard, eh?

We're pretty much all dying from the time we're born.

Engineering toys for girls? I didn't realize girls weren't allowed to play with Legos or Lincoln Logs or Erector sets or, you know, saws and welders if they're a little bit older. So because a savvy businesswoman attached your pet cause to her product, you feel as if everyone else in the universe should discard their…

Why?

Thanks. I'll hold off until it's five or ten bucks then.

So NOW is this game worth buying?

CGI with hand-drawn backgrounds? Fuck no.

No Twitters from Katy Perry? Did she survive?!?!

I'd say Jill and Sally represent this chump's best chance at a genuine threesome. Throw a party at your place, invite them both over, get the booze flowing, and then work some magic! Shame on Mr. Nerdbone for not suggesting this.

Huh.