Awwww....did some mean hockey fans pick on your hewo? Don't worry, you'll soon be able to curl up with a nice bottle of Gatorade and watch Space Jam 2!!!

That's called "drawing a penalty". It's a tactic that players who are able to think quick on their feet do in order to give their team an advantage. Nice try pretending to be a hockey fan though, and props for researching who Olli Maatta is and using him in your example, you've probably fooled most people into…

I have a lot of libertarian leanings, but I for one have never complained about making sure anyone who is going to have any sort of sharp object, be it scissors or needle or whatever, in the vicinity of my body has shown enough basic competency to pass a licensing test.

Not for the fetus...

Alright, alright, alright!

Despite your answers to me, I still have the sneaking suspicion you're somehow trying to turn this dumbass who goes around injecting stuff into other dumbasses' asses into some sort of victim in all this...

"Despondent Brad and Angelina Ask Jennifer Aniston To Surrogate For Them"

I'd go out on a limb and say the very fact that we're reading about this incident pretty much indicates that zero to minimal training was given to the unlicensed beautician here, but I suppose I might just be a dick.

Ok. So I'm clear, you're not going down the path of 'This poor black woman had no chance of getting a PROPER license to inject silicon into butts because THE MAN makes it too damn hard for her to do so! She's a victim too!', are you?

I'm very curious. Where exactly are you going with your question of asking if getting a license for injecting things into another human being's body is "unusually restrictive"?

Here's an idea. Don't play stupid Call of Wolfenhalofall games. Go out and play paintball. Then if someone makes a racist/sexist/whateverist comment to you, you can just shoot him/her in the balls/pussy. Problem solved.

What sort of Canadian pretends to play basketball instead of pretending to play hockey? I'd call him a pussy, but that would be an insult to pussies.

Ahem...I may have a suggestion on how to accomplish that...

Shortly after my divorce years ago, I was in a somewhat...different state of mind. A telemarketer called and started telling me all about their wonderful magazine subscription service. Having absolutely nothing better to do with my time, I sat and listened to her spiel as I slowly pecked away at my Dinty Moore Beef…

Do young girls really take their body image cues from the weekly Target insert?

While this gentleman may be good at actual competitive pool playing as well, being good at performing trick shots is entirely different, and the two don't automatically go hand-in-hand. Another example might be a guy who can juggle a soccer ball for hours without letting it hit the ground, but isn't very good at…

Also, learn D-A-G chords on the guitar, and you'll be golden!

You haven't been a Gawker site visitor very long, have you?

B-A-N-A-N-A-S?

Country music? Don't know if these gentlemen would agree...