I’m sorry LuluLemon, did you think you were irreplaceable?

she was adriana in the remake of 90210

That was masterful, Bobby. I was like “who could it be?!” wondering what level of horror I would reach ... and then the Lovitz shot. Just NO. I actually said, out loud, in my office all alone “NO”.

That she found a much older man isn’t the story here. It’s that the much older man happens to be Jon Lovitz. And that they teased out the big reveal over several meticulously crafted Instagram posts.

Getting to the end of that first item like

OK, first off: Jessica Who?

He’s very much Stock Handsome White Man

I think I get why his girlfriend is a teenager.

I want to cast her in my Rainbow Brite/Golden Girls mash-up.

Good on her! Harmless, eccentric people make the world a better place. More lively, more interesting, more spiritually challenging. Good for you, Green Lady!

I love her.

the lowest, longest involuntary groan just escaped me.

Having suffered years of sexual abuse from my own father and being too afraid to tell anyone, the fact that this young woman had the strength to tell a trusted adult speaks VOLUMES about her. I wish I could hug her and tell her how brave she is.

This would be quite effective were it not for the fact that “women: you have to treat them like sh*t” is the subtext for the entire Republican party.

Huh. I read it completely differently. I read it as don’t let someone bully you into doing something you aren’t sure about. If you want to say no to the D, then for gosh sakes, say no.

hot take:

She’s an attention whore, not a sex whore.

The last thing I want when I’m depressed and don’t want to go anywhere is for someone to come into MY space with soup and company, no matter how delicious the soup or how charming the company. When I want to be alone, that’s just what I want: aloneness.

“I do love you, but like a contestant.”

I always feel like I’m overshadowed by the Lauren B.s and the Beccas