Ugh! A friend of mine did some porn work a while ago and everyone she ever met ever started pulling this crap with her. She had to delete all her social media, change her hair color and wear dark glasses any time she went outside for like a year.

Look at her mouth. See how it’s pulled down in the corners when she tries to talk, like a cartoon of a sad person? I’ve had that happen. It’s when your whole body and face wants to explode into tears, but you can’t. I distinctly remember two times in my life when it happened to me, and I definitely can spot it on her…

I wish I could have done this to all the trolls on Unturned. Fuckers.

Haha that’s how my sweet mom showed me!

no no, just an idiot troll who is a 4 out of 10 at trolling. tl;dr was decent, but we’ll see how long you can stand the trolling of one Kid Mexico!!!

Yeah, I mean, three whole paragraphs. I basically wrote you a novel. Think you can out-troll me bitch? You’re on.

Haha okay dude. Seriously, look at your life right now. You know NOTHING about my life and friendship with this dude. I am, as it happens, not broke and it’s not money that’s keeping me from purchasing a car. Even if I was though, let me enlighten you a little. I was the first of my friends to buy a car. I was the…

Hahaha, actually, I just showed him this comment thread. Some lecture troll lectured me about what an asshole I am for not having a car and criticizing his driving/parking. I showed him that, we had a good laugh, and then I was all, “But seriously, dude. Let me show you how to fucking park.” Worked out great.

Well thank goodness we have you here to keep everyone in line. I showed my roommate your comment; it was a great way to break the ice about his shitty parking, and laugh at a self-righteous idiot at the same time! So thanks, I guess!

He’s like, the comically-bad-to-everyone-else, self-conscious kind of bad parker. Haha, I’m not sure how to explain it. He makes it difficult for everyone to exit the car, and for the neighboring cars to be entered. Even in a spot that has PLENTY of room. You should know: we’ve been friends for like ten years, since…

I felt like it was pretty obviously not a serious question.

Can someone help me? I am between cars at the moment, and my roommate has been kind enough to give me a lift here and there lately. The thing is: the guy is a terrible driver and a worse parker. I can’t convey to you how bad this guy parks in words, and I’m not savvy enough to draw some kind of diagram. Often it’s so…