Me at the end of this thread:

New Idea! How about Jezebel fund me to go to Poland, dress up in a ski mask, and squeeze this guy's nuts as hard as I can? You know, for testicular health and whatever.

Pangolins are so cool. The first time I saw one I thought I was on glue.

"Pssst. Hi. I don't know you, but unless we do something drastic, they're going to make us play that game where they microwave candy on diapers and make us smell it. Will you put your high heel through my cheek? That might distract them."

Don't even comment on this story like none of you have ever wanted to stab somebody with a shoe at every fucking baby shower you've ever been forced to sit through.

I have obviously been going to the wrong baby showers.

I'll watch the shit out of it as well. It's too bad it will be either comedic genius or a horrible trainwreck, I doubt that it'll be anything in between. Either way, watching the shit out of it!

whats that thing you do when youre trying to justify your own decision so you attack others? i guess that makes sense

Those of us who practice ethical nonmonogamy scoff at the notion that you "can't cheat" while practicing polyamory. People can and do cheat all the time; polyamory isn't a "get out of cheating free" card.

I've never met any poly people who would think that their lifestyle is for everyone. I'm sorry you've been exposed to whatever you're upset about, but it kinda feels like you're attacking a straw man, as well as targeting what is basically a sexual minority unfairly for your ire. I'm a little incensed that this is the…

I laughed at the signoff. I try to remind myself regularly that the poly people who I encounter on OkCupid are not representative of poly people everywhere, or even of poly people who are using the site. They're a particular subset of jackasses who are trying to convince single women who don't identify as poly to…

So who's responsible for taking minutes during sex and filing out an Orgasm Summary Report afterwards?

Polyamory sounds great. But then I start to think about being in love with someone and then knowing that they are being intimate with other people... I dunno. I mean what are the levels of feeling between the people involved? Does that get discussed? Like the calendar woman, is 'The One' possibly her main squeeze? And…

If I'm going to be in a three or four person poly relationship, we're all going to share a bedroom. Assuming we'd all have similar interests, I doubt there'd be problems sharing a TV since we'd like the same shows, movies, and video games. But to play it safe, we'd probably own two TVs anyway. Having said that, Google…

I can barely manage to schedule my life and ONE relationship. :/

I would need an administrative assistant. ASSistant? Sexretary? I don't know, but someone to help me schedule dinners and boning.

Or, maybe I'll just stick with being in love with one person at a time, when I can find one person who can put up with me.

It's all my partner and I can do to keep track of activities for two people. Count me out if there's this much work involved.

The more I hear about poly lifestyles, the lazier I feel. My hat is off to you with the energy to manage it properly!

OMG I soooooo needed the laugh your two gifs gave me!!

I definitely don't want to kill hin, but my boyfriend chews SO LOUD and I mention it almost every day and it doesn't stop. I was home alone all week sleeping in the middle of the bed and eating in silence and it was so nice. I can't stand loud eating.