I love this thread because I read the original comment and I just knew that everyone was going to pile on da .gifs.

So! Many! Exclamation! Points!

I met up with a guy I met on OkCupid about a month ago. We hit it off. I ended up sleeping with him. We texted all week. Met up the next weekend for a second date. Continued to text every single fucking day for the next two weeks. Met up again last week. Same deal. Another sleepover date.

I did upthread but...weed and poverty make you do things like eat bowls of ketchup.

When you are both very poor and very high.

I think it's a conspiracy. An insidious one, going up to the highest level of government. Like Obama is involved.

I'm sorry to eat-shame here, especially since, as a woman who once ate a bowl of ketchup, I don't have a leg to stand on.* But Cinnabon is the worst. I had a Cinnabon once, and that was during the absolute saddest time of my life.

I don't know you, Internet Stranger, but you were clearly present when I decided that spraying canned cheese directly into my parent's dog's mouth and then having her sleep at the foot of my bed was A Good Idea.

He looks like he scribbled his beard on with a Ticonderoga #2 pencil.

You know what I have no doubt that that has totally happened.

Ahhhh. I didn't realise the link landed me on page 2. Oh well. I'm not editing it. The fact is I can TOTALLY IMAGINE all of these things coming out out of her mouth.

Wait, your poop doesn't like to sit on your lap? It's not a cuddler?

A cup of soup with a side of canned cheese on a tomato sounds like an AWESOME dinner right now. 'Cept #needsmorecarbs.

My cat's litter box is in the bathroom and he loves pooping when I'm in the shower. The humidity traps the smell and envelops you in it.

No, you had it right the first time. BENEDICK. One of my all time greatest literary crushes. Almost up there with Sydney Carton (A Tale of Two Cities), Mr. Darcy and (Pride and Prejudice) and Mr. Knightley (Emma).

"Not everyone poops during labor", I assume you mean. I read this originally as just "Not everyone poops" and I was like "Um...."

He obviously wasn't in the delivery room when she had her kids. I've never given birth but friends of mine have and the first thing they said about it was "You will shit in front of a room full of strangers and you will not care."

Here are some Gwwyneth-isms from the link in case you don't feel like scrolling through:

I don't know which part I love best:

Yes. This is MATH.