Literally no one is saying this.

False. There were no highlights from that game.

Sure, Nerlens Noel may be depressing, but who on Bourbon Street cares when New Year's is a week away.

never forget

While this is clearly very sad news, it's comforting to know that Bud Adams is now able to flip off the Buffalo Bills with someone who has been flipping off the Buffalo Bills for decades: God.

Hmmm. Lemme try a few:

I also heard Cardinals fans make better lovers than Dodgers fans because they get so much practice on themselves.

Well, they're overweight, have no regard for nature (or history), and are stupid enough to film themselves...unfortunately, that doesn't exactly narrow down where in America they're from.

Which is pot.

HEY YOU GOT IT WRONG! I OBJECT AND AM OFFENDED.

Great call on those Kansas City-style ribs, Burneko. They're the best food in the state, and they go especially well when paired with some of St. Louis's nationally-renowned whine.

Mark Sanchez noted that Chastity was already out of the question, mainly because her high school mid term exams were this week.

I love all the Ferrell hate in the comments. What makes Will Ferrell a classic is, much like David Letterman, he got to a certain level of stardom and $$$, and stopped giving a shit. He just does the dumb stuff that he finds funny and goes home to his pile of money while people talk about it on the internet like it…

A real Schiano Man believes sex should be both brief and unsatisfying.

Nope, hasn't stopped being funny yet. It may never.

Brian McCann just bought a plane ticket for LA, Watch out Adrian!

My mind is blown every year by the Caddinals being able to produce homegrown talent, especially pitching. Thank god they don't have Dave Duncan the former pitching coach or else it wouldn't even be fair

If that's Danny Amendola he's out for the season.