we’ll have to revise “bag of dicks” to “old, hoarded, bag of dicks.”

I’d be shocked if Jon and Dany don’t bone before this show is over. And now they have the lovely parallel of being the Unburnt and the Defrosted.

At what point should I stop drinking tears if I have to drive later on?

Yeah, according to most of the conservative and/or stupid people—that Venn diagram’s got a LOT of overlap in my Facebook feed—we’re all now legally required to be gay married to a person of color and give abortions to goats and pray to Mecca and suffer the indignity of health care while being limited to owning only a…

Good for her.

Then they really should come to my parties. Me and my friends just push the furniture to the side and dance. We also have a gay dinner talking about our plans of ruining the fabric of American society. Our new book is out:

If tomorrow all my things were gone

Only a deranged asshole would order bacon extra limp, then offer said gelatinous fatty tissue to a terrified waitress as a peace offering. Crispy or nothing, limp dick psycho Santa.

Bang! Funny how no one is taking this into consideration when it concerns black parents/minority parents having to explain to their kids why just existing is dangerous these days. That because of your race/skin colour just being a kid/teenager is a no, no for you. You better be perfect or risk getting dead.

God forbid we have to explain anything to our precious, precious children!

I saw a video where a police officer who confronted a black woman who stole eggs. She admitted she stole the eggs and explained that she had no food or money due to losing her job. She was getting them to feed her kids. He went back inside and paid for the eggs and some other things for her. He went back to her house…

This guy probably wouldn't have minded if it was an attractive alpha-male who stabbed him.

Sure it's an obscene display of conspicuous consumption and vanity by the old-money aristocracy. But this year I am going to a party with gambling, a keg, and hats, and I just inherited a tiny green velvet fascinator with lace gauze over the face. When am I ever going to wear that, if not to mock the rich and their…

But her husband makes $114 an hour, which is what we're trying to fight here. GET IT TOGETHER, JOSESVANCE.

hahahahahahahahaha! I'm sorry. That's not approp....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh well. I can't help but think it's hilarious how a few numbers upset people so. I know I know, but it will always be funny to me. dgaf.

First, these are the sort of pagans that made me choose Summer's Eve as my Craft name.

Carrot dating, huh?

Please go to hell. Just go. Do not come back from the pits of hell. You belong there. Enjoy your stay in hell.