Mono-D'OH!

Balls off the head certainly qualifies.

This is some next-level performance art shit. I’d love to see how he does at some hipster coffee shop’s open mic/poetry slam night.

Severino had a 2.31 ERA in the first half of the season. In the second half, it’s been 6.95. That’s more earned runs allowed in his last 45.1 IP than in his first 128.1 IP. Let that sink in. If I’m the Yankees, I don’t even let him so much as warm up during the play in game.

THERE IS

I had my money on Melania.

You mean, “cheap” beer?

What all these guys said - I wonder if there is a way to calculate just how optimally someone hit a ball off the sweet spot of a bat vs. what was just a really hard swing.

Holy shit, those last 26 appearances stats are “Brad Lidge circa 2009" bad.

Who made the stupid fucking arbitrary rules about what is respectful and what is disrespectful to the anthem anyways?

The amount of people who are more loyal to a song about a piece of cloth than to their fellow members of their country astounds me.

Question: do you think he alphabetically sorts the VHS tapes of his rallies under "R"? I'd be curious if he's ever accidentally pulled a tape from the "P" section and put it on to watch.

How does the OKC Thunder logo escape mention in a conversation about worst logos? Seriously, that should be the first one mentioned every time.

Annnnnnd no mention of Halt and Catch Fire... yet more disrespect for the show. :(

What’s flying away from the butt fumble?

listening to gales of laughter rippling throughout the place during the scene in Dumb & Dumber where Jeff Bridges has violently explosive diarrhea

You’d think that lack of success in the dating game would make some of these people turn inward and ask themselves “Hmm, could it be that there is something patently objectionable about me that is the reason no one wants me?”

“A lot of people yelling at you on TV don’t even have children,” said Carlson, ...

STOP USING TWITTER YOU FUCKING MORONS. It’s a breeding ground for bullshit.

Wow, so this guy had murderous instincts? Who’da thunk it!