That's why he was not given a Michigan offer. He can tackle.

No green olives? The fuck you makin' here?

You totally screwed up the mix. Just use Zing Zang

I don't understand. Put the cat down? Unless you suddenly caught fire why would you put the cat down? It's your duty, privilege and honor to pet the cat. Putting a cat down is like hanging up on the president when he calls to tell you he loves you and wants to be your best friend and return all your tax money.

Being a Jags fan, this doesn't affect me in any way, shape, or form.

So you want a drag queen?

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

No sympathy for the oil change guy. Every married man knows the wife's car is their car when it come to maintenance. Never trust your wife with car stuff. Oil changes are easy to do yourself, even easier to pay someone $25 to do it.

I have no sympathy at all for Todd. You should know whether or not your wife is the type of woman to keep up with the regularly scheduled maintenance on her vehicle or if she's the type of person that would drive a vehicle for 26,000 miles without ever taking it in for an oil change. My wife would never get her oil…

Todd's oil change story is either bull$hit on twelve different levels or a ballad about the most clueless husband to walk this planet.

Please, please, please, please become reality!

You forget this is Gawker Media, nothing matters but New York and California

I have 4 children and when they were small they were adorable. I would do anything for them...
Except fly with them because they had no class.
It wasn't their fault because they were you know, kids.

Same can be said for the parents.

If they must bring their screaming shit machine on the plane then they should have to buy it a ticket (no lap babies) and then be required to sit in the back by the galley/lavatory so as to disturb the least amount of passengers when the inevitable screaming starts. And ban children under 6 from First Class entirely.

Can't say I didn't expect that.

I'm all for child muzzles.

/thread.