But in all seriousness, I’d contemplate murder too if someone face washed me with that glove.

The Eagles are taking media tips from the Trump staff. Expect a gloating tweet from the Eagles account about how the Inquirer is a losing paper later tonight.

He got bored of dick kicking so he’s resorted to targeting the asshole

Phil Kessel is the John Kruk of hockey

There’s too much Canada bashing going on here! Continue!

I think you meant “jawn”

This. I had a coworker that was no more than 5 years older than me (I’m 27) who was trying to give himself some sort of experience ranking by calling me a Millennial. If cultural historians are calling my age bracket that, then so be it, but it tickled me that there’s people out there who could conceivably be in high…

Watch the rookie QB come in and prove yet again that it’s the system and not Brady. The job security raffle is going according to plan still.

I’m reminded that “if you don’t like it, get out” was a common rejoinder to political protests of the Bush era—as if America were perfect, and supporting it means never acknowledging its faults, and if you want to call attention to its shortcomings and work to make it better, you must not truly love it.

Even sanctioned Philly towing companies will snatch your ass. Lew Blum runs our fair city with an iron fist.

This is correct

This better not count as credit toward his suspension...

He’s showing promise as Rodney Dangerfield’s diving stunt corpse in the remake of Back to School.

The OJ chase is my first story I was really aware of (age 5)

This is why Nate Dogg sang on his tracks.

Those Star Trek aliens really took a downhill turn.

The only fallacy to this article is that I’d be having sex with The Rock. I’m pretty sure the event itself would be the other way around.

Oh God this is so Philly it hurts. Though Bernie probably took the handjob joke as an invitation. The man just can’t say no to the ladies.

This was painfully accurate between the Philly and Yinzer accents.